


torn in two

by cliffords



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-30
Updated: 2013-11-30
Packaged: 2018-01-03 00:29:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1063514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cliffords/pseuds/cliffords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He hates himself, hates this. He feels like he has no purpose in life, like all of his dreams were drained out of him that night. But if anyone can motivate him again, it’s Michael. It always is Michael.</p>
            </blockquote>





	torn in two

**Author's Note:**

> this was initially written as the start of a longer one shot, but i never figured out how to carry it on, so i thought i'd just post it as it is.  
> this is the first fic i've posted for 5sos, so please leave me feedback, let me know how it is.  
> (just as a side note, you can leave it up to your own imagination what happened to luke, it makes sense when you read it. i'm not going to say what i wrote it to be for now, just in case i ever do carry it on)
> 
> title from 5sos' Wherever You Are, because it seemed fitting.

“Luke, baby, what’s wrong?”  
  
Luke hears the door creak open and Michael’s voice waver through the air; concerned and tilted with worry. He feels the bed sink beside him where Michael’s tentatively perched on the edge, but he doesn’t move. Luke remains motionless, lying flat on his back and staring up at the ceiling, unblinking, counting how many white spots of paint have chipped away.  
Luke feels the soft touch of Michael’s fingers dragging soothingly up his bicep, over the curve of his shoulder, bump into his jawline and slide up into Luke’s unruly blonde locks, stroking gently at the hairline. It’s calming, so calming, and Luke feels his eyes slip close and suddenly all he wants to do is fall asleep with Michael watching over him, protecting. But he can’t sleep, he knows what happens when he lets his subconscious take over, and he can’t deal with that anymore.  
  
“Luke?”  
  
Michael’s questioning voice brings Luke back to the surface; opening his eyes to be greeted again with the white-painted ceiling, dirty and chipped, just like Luke. His eyes are dead; dull and lifeless greying orbs with the dying tint of blue, like a bulb slowly being drained of its glow.  
  
“I’m pathetic.”  
  
Luke mumbles softly, it’s so quiet he’s not sure Michael heard him, until he gets the conformation when Michael’s fingers still in his hair, and Luke feels the grasp tighten slightly, not enough for it to hurt, just a dull pressure that Luke barely acknowledges.  
  
“No. Luke, you’re not pathetic.”  
  
Michael’s voice is stern now, harsh even, and Luke doesn’t know if he hates it or thrives under it, he doesn’t really know what to feel.  
  
“I am. I’m pathetic. It happened 3 weeks ago and all I can do is lay here.”  
  
Luke replies, yet he sounds empty and full of self-loathing. He hates himself, hates _this_. He feels like he has no purpose in life, like all of his dreams were drained out of him that night. But if anyone can motivate him again, it’s Michael. It always is Michael.  
  
“Luke, listen to me. You’re not pathetic, you never will be. What happened, it’s never your fault, okay? I love you.”  
  
Luke’s heart doesn’t twitch like it used to when Michael told him those three words. Luke used to glow at the rare times Michael said “I love you”, but now, _now_ , he feels nothing. Just empty and hollow, like instead of a beating heart there’s a black abyss. And it’s numbing Luke inside, tugging him away until there’ll be nothing left.  
  
Luke doesn’t say anything at that, just stays motionless, not moving his gaze from the one large chip in the stained paint. Not even when he feels Michael lean towards him, and not when he feels the light press of Michael’s lips against his cheek. He senses Michael move back, and he can’t block out the feeling of his skin burning under Michael’s worried stare. He’s not emotionless enough yet, but he’s close, so close he can barely even distinguish his emotions, just lets them all blend into one, long _ache_.  
  
The bed dips again, and Luke expects to hear the door shut behind Michael, because he usually leaves, almost as if he physically can’t bare to deal with Luke anymore. Luke can see why, and he still doesn’t understand why Michael hasn’t just given up on him yet.  
  
However, he feels the warmth of Michael’s body rush into his side, feels Michael’s skin brush against his, and feels Michael’s arms wrap around his waist and pull Luke so he slips onto Michael’s chest. Michael presses another gentle kiss to Luke’s temple, and it’s then that Luke finally succumbs. Here, in Michael’s arms with Michael holding him and Michael actually _caring_ , even though no-one else seems to anymore. Everyone has given up on Luke, everyone but Michael, and Luke has no idea why, can’t understand why Michael would be wasting his life on trying to glue a broken boy back together. It won’t work, Luke knows it won’t work, because it’s like trying to mend cracks in the Earth with superglue. The bond won’t hold, it’ll break, and then Luke will be left alone, again.  
  
But Michael’s here, _now_ , and Luke doesn’t know what to do. So he turns his head and snuggles into Michael’s chest, tucking his hair underneath Michael’s chin, shifting his body so he’s lying on his side across Michael. He feels Michael rub his palm soothingly up and down Luke’s back, and Luke knows that the only place he feels safe is in Michael’s grasp. He knows Michael will protect him, will take care of him, so Luke lets go for now, because he can’t deal with it anymore. He slowly closes his eyes and begins to drift asleep to the constant thud of Michael’s heartbeat, and he’s hoping the nightmares won’t arrive this time, because Michael’s here, Michael’s with him, and Luke likes to tell himself that Michael is never going to let go.

**Author's Note:**

> please leave feedback, thank you, i love you


End file.
